This guy loves his corporate job - do you?
Now some of you may be thinking “why is this guy so negative about working in a big corporation.” well, to prove to you that I don’t think that it is necessarily a bad thing, here are my top reasons why it’s good to have a job in Corporate America (If you don’t care for the cut and dry serious views, just scroll down to the ”slackers”section below):
1) Flexible hours (Flex 40) or if you’re lucky enough a 9/80 (every other Friday off) or 8/80 (every Friday off) work week.
2) The steady paycheck gives you a reason to wake up at 6:30 in the morning, while attempting to have a possible semi-productive day (depending on your definition of productive).
3) Almost guaranteed pay raise/bonus (except for sales)
4) Surely but slowly, career growth, depends on how much effort you put forth, but it’s fairly straight forward and linear.
5) A semi-stress free work environment
6) Employee Stock options (potential company matching) and 401k (for now at least).
7) College Tuition reimbursement.
8) Corporate Benefits (Employee Purchase plans, gym memberships/reimbursements).
9) Several weeks of paid vacation/sick leave.
10) Possible Breakfast Friday’s (Breakfast Burritos, Donuts or Bagels).
11) Meeting your future spouse at work is better than meeting them at a bar.
12) It gives you a reason to look forward to the weekend.
13) The occasional free lunch courtesy of someone’s birthday, promotion or departure.
14) Free coffee.
15) It gives you an excuse not to do something. No one can argue with you when you say “I can’t, I have to get up early tomorrow for work.”
16) You get to make friends with people that are generally the same age as you and have similar interests.
Work Life Balance
The Slackers list: 19 reasons why your job in corporate America is good enough to keep you coming in everyday.
1) Get Paid to surf the web, write your blog, play your online games, check your external email and the list goes on and on… Basically the web is your friend, especially during Fantasy Football season!!! Come on LT!!!…
2) If you really cared about your job, you could put your entire department out of job, but even then, the pay wouldn’t be worth putting forth the extra effort or dealing with the extra responsibility.
3) Can you say three day weekends and holidays!!!
4) Using your sick days wisely, preferably in combination with off Fridays and holidays, let’s hear it for not working for a whole week.
5) Long Lunches, mandatory 1 hour lunches, possibly longer on Fridays.
6) For the smokers, smoke breaks, every hour for a minimum of 10 minutes.
7) Make your tasks seem harder than they really are, even though all your do is data management; which is basically burning cd’s/dvd’s all day and slapping corporate logo’s on them; while occasionally responding to work related emails (fun times).
8) Bullsh*t meetings, now lets waste everyone’s time, who doesn’t love the fact that you’re still trying to solve the same problem you were having 14 months ago; way to make progress (Now that’s job security!).
9) Internal Corporate Instant Messenger, best idea ever and whichever CEO gave the “go ahead” on that decision, finally earned their paycheck with that one.
10) It is pretty satisfying to “borrow” office supplies from work.
11) Mail your eBay items via corporate courier, discount shipping!
12) Casual Friday aka Slacker Friday (t-shirts and jeans, if it were up to you, it’d be a robe, slippers and underwear).
13) Possible Breakfast club Friday’s (Breakfast Burritos, Donuts or Bagels), it beats the hell out of the roach coach, mmmmm what’s in this again???
14) Listening to people ramble on about absolutely nothing, or how “this place used to be different” and how you need to get out while you can (save yourself).
15) Giving your co-workers nicknames (K-Man, T the crazy arse gibberish spewing Janitor and of course H.F.G.= Hairy Fat Guy and who doesn’t love them!) and also being convinced that some of your co-workers are actually robots, like Salami-Bot 5000 and the kanobot.
16) You can only open so many emails with attachments and forwards in one day, but for some strange reason,LoLcats never get old…
17) Let’s be honest, it is basically like high school and there is plenty of gossip to get involved in.
18) Office Pranks, how else are we suppose to kill time on those never ending Fridays.
19) The steady paycheck gives you a reason to wake up at 6:30 in the morning, while attempting to have a possible semi-productive day (depending on your definition of productive).
As we can see there are some major differences, but several similarities between the two lists, a few things we have learned: You can’t go wrong with a steady paycheck, free food, paid leave and lack of responsibility.
Corporate America, we salute you!